What is the purpose of this site?

Text updated 2.15.2010, formatting updated 4.7.2013

Because at some point you have to say what you mean and mean what you say....

This is my speaker's corner of the web. Speaker's corner was an area on campus where people of all stripes could go and hold forth freely on any topic that interested them. Mostly they were crackpots spewing their chosen nonsense, but in the great tradition of this country they had their say unmolested. That is my intention here. I don't have any over-riding theme or reason for this site other than as an outlet for my various essays. Thanks for reading. But this is not a blog. I am not a blogger. I have a contact form set up that visitors are welcome to use, but there isn't and won't be a comments section.

This site has been a long time in the making, though that was not my intention. I have been writing and thinking about issues relating to parenting and education for a long time.

Over 10 years ago, before my oldest was even school age, I began to research parenting and educational topics, particularly homeschooling. Not so much because I was convinced that I would be a homeschooler, but rather because sites that dealt with homeschooling often had such thought provoking content. I eagerly joined in the discussion at several sites, and was quickly drawn into several protracted and, in the end, nasty exchanges.

Nastiness occurs often on parenting boards I've noticed through the years. Too often it's because every poster wants the crowd to validate his or her choices. Since the point of many of the discussions is to compare the results of the different parenting choices, validation for any one was in short supply. I wasnâÄôt looking for validation, so its lack didn't bother me, but scanning through relentless and repetitive arguments was a waste of my time.

In addition, I thought it might be best is if I stepped back a bit. At that point, my daughter was in second grade and my son had not yet started kindergarten, so my interaction with the school system spanned only a few years. And so I stepped back, leaving as I did several conversations unfinished, and no doubt long forgotten by all except me. My daughter will be 18 next April, and my son will be 15. So though I am by no means finished parenting, I have many more years and experience from which to draw when I comment.

My years away from writing about the topic have been busy and productive. In some cases my experiences with the school have allowed me to understand the reasons behind some of the rants on homeschooling boards-- even if I still don't share that view. But more often than not, my own experience dealing with the 'system' has shown me that I had the right idea.

I thought then that it came down to the parents -- no matter where the schooling occurred-- and I believe that more firmly than ever. So any father (or mother) who tries to tell me that the children that he (or she) walked out on to take up with a new lover suffered because of the 'system's structure and neglect' will not EVER convince me that it was the school system that caused the original damage to his children-- that blame lies with him and the other adults involved. This holds true even if the new family he creates with his new bedmate results in an intact healthy family and a child who excels.

Parents have the responsibility to raise ALL their children, not just those involving the latest bedmate. Relationships change over time and may end-- but the responsibility to the offspring resulting from the relationship does not. I have seen close up the effects (in both the short and long term) of fathers (and mothers) ripping the apart their children's lives. What happens then within the school may or may not worsen those children's lot-- but it is still the parents who have the responsibility to assist children who then struggle in a school environment.

Obviously there are children who suffer divorce during their developing years who still manage to thrive-- and in most of these cases this occurs because the parents (or other involved adults) assume the increased responsibility that their lifestyle choices have imposed. It is more challenging to successfully parent children of divorce.

I'm including the above to reveal my bottom line in writing this series of articles, what I hope to achieve and hope to avoid. In my view, education is part of parenting. Public schools offer parents the option to contract a portion of the process, but in no way relieve parents of the responsibility.

Does this mean that the schools have no responsibility or accountability? Of course not. But as a parent I choose where to enroll my child-- I am still ultimately responsible for them-- and I'm the one who will have to answer their questions as to why I made the choices I did. I know this view isn't universal-- I've argued with my neighbors about it. Many, many people believe that the school system and the teachers have complete responsibility for education. But my child isn't going to go back and find his teacher if he doesn't succeed-- he's going to come looking to me for an explanation.

This site offers my commentary on much more than parenting, but my desire to publish my views on parenting was the genesis of this site. I chose to present my views here rather than on the parenting boards because a few years ago I decided I would not provide free content for other sites, and I find the comment section of most sites to have too low a signal to noise ratio. I do still (very) occasionally post at other sites, but also intend to post that content here.